On the System of Units [A Joke! Not to be taken seriously] via Pystech

Found this accidentally on the website of Moscow Institute of Physics and Technology

It is well known that the selection of the units of measurement is very important in any theory. For instance, a very convenient measurement system in nuclear physics assumes that the two most important constants – the Planck constant, \hbar, and the speed of light, c, are equal to 1.

Along the same lines we suggest to introduce similar simplifications in Mathematics by re-calibrating the real numbers axis in such a way that the two important constants, e and \pi , equal to 0 and 1 respectively.

This will tremendously simplify geometry: the circumference of a circle will be equal to its diameter; and the sum of the angles of a triangle will be equal to 1.

Even more beneficial changes will be seen in calculus. It is known that e^{2\pi i} = 1 . Taking logarithm of this expression we get 2\pi i ln(e)=0, which yields i=0 as the expression 2\pi i ln(e) is not equal to 0 under our assumptions. This eliminates all the complications of the Complex Variable Functions Theory.

Furthermore, now e^{i \psi} = cos(\psi) + isin(\psi) = cos(\psi) because, as we noted above i=0. Next, the same equation yields: e^{0 \psi} = cos(\psi) and cos(\psi) = 1 for any value of \psi.

New Fundamental Theorem of Algebra: 1=0.

Proof.  It has been proved that i=0.

By definition, i=\sqrt{-1} which implies (-1)(-1)=0. By taking squares of the both sides one more time, we get, 1=0 i.e \pi = e. We have just proved this intuitively obvious assumption.

Great changes will be caused in other sciences as well.

For example in Physics the coefficients, \dfrac{1}{4} \pi in the Maxwell equations will turn into simple \dfrac{1}{4}. This will simplify these equations in the Gauss system and will deliver the mortal blow to the presumptuous imaginary advantages of the scandalously notorious SI system.

Furthermore, the equation of Electrostatics, E = \dfrac{e}{Er^2} will be changed – in view of e=0 – into E=0. It will also radically simplify all Theory of Electricity: force F=0, potential \psi = constant, and so forth.

In Chemistry, all \pi -connections of molecules will become 1-connections. Automatically the question of multiplicity of these connections will be resolved – all \pi-connections are singular.

The economical effect of the proposed change will be great and diverse. Let us emphasize just three of its aspects.

  • There will be no need in either trigonometric tables, or logarithmic rulers or special functions in electronic calculators (reminding that cos(\psi) = 1, sin(\psi) = 0, e^x = 0).
  • The Joule losses in the circuits of alternating current will disappear, as the transmitted energy, E = IU cos(\psi) and cos(\psi) = 1. Thanks to this effect, the electrical energy will be transported to users without any losses.
  • The mass of a rocket, m that reached the velocity, v is m = m_{0}e^{\dfrac{-v}{v-propellant}} = 0 because e=0. The rocket will exhaust all its fuel energy instantly after the launch. Hence both the reactive movement and launching the missiles become impossible. The arms race will automatically stop.

From “Za Nauku”, weekly newspaper of Moscow Institute of Physics and Technology, No.12 (1350), 31 March 1996.

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